Archive for May, 2009


May 20, 2009

I want to be a person who takes accountability, responsibility for who, what they are.  Who is free to choose how they want to be, and to act on those choices and fulfill them.  Ergo:


Reads books on topics he is interested in, not only academically but also personally.  Reads for edification, not just to fill time or divert himself.  Examples: current writings on gender/sexuality, things by Oscar Wilde, Copland’s “How to Listen to Music”.  (More generally: views personal edification as a desirable objective, not a chore.)

Cooks regularly.

Has a hipster-ish (sans capital H) sense of style, and buys clothes primarily from the Salvation Army.  Wears what he likes and what is comfortable, but …

Is not overly concerned with his physical appearance.  Is comfortable enough with his own physical appearance that he can maintain himself without analyzing, criticizing (pos and neg) himself.

Stays physically fit so as to be efficacious in sport and action, and occasionally takes pride in his resulting physical appearance, but not too often.

Has dreams, desires, passions, wants, that are as exterior as they are interior, that are acted upon as well as reflected upon.

Is not reliant on the acceptance of others for social well-being: is capable of representing himself positively, interestingly, and uniquely to his friends and acquaintances.

And so, THINGS I CAN DO TOWARDS THESE ENDS, especially this summer when I won’t have school.

Cook, read (buy books, rent books), garden.  Go to the Salvation Army.  Socialize with high school friends, with whom I still feel closer to than those I’ve met at college.  Maintain skin care (don’t pick at zits).  Take walks, take runs, buy arm weights.  Eat well.  Please laugh.  Crack jokes, make remarks.  Write my name on a piece of paper over and over and mail it to PostSecret.  Sketch trees.  Play the piano.  Buy a guitar, play a guitar.  Search for love.  Et cetera.

(Also, first post.  Welcome to the blog, etc.  My intentions: for this space to be a place to write, a place to think and reflect and be introverted.  But also for it to be a place from which I am broadcasted.  This is public introversion, mental reflection, for the continual goal of “self-improvement”: finding happiness, edification, love, satisfaction, passion, answers, and questions.)